Each year at the Unhindered Steps Conference, we invite teens and adults to submit anonymous questions about life, faith, and mental and emotional well-being.
Our team—made up of therapists, counselors, youth leaders, and parents—prayerfully and thoughtfully responds to as many as we can.
We’re here to support you, encourage you, and walk alongside you. If you have a question of your own, we’d love to hear from you! Use the Contact link in the menu to submit your own.
Your Questions Answered
When you were a teen, what kind of support did you want from adults?
It can sometimes feel scary to let an adult walk into your life and offer support. Depending on your experiences and past relationships you may feel hesitant to trust them. I found it difficult to trust that an adult could walk into my life and hold the things I was sharing without telling other people. As a teen, I wanted someone who would ask questions and offer a listening ear without giving me advice or trying to fix me. I didn’t want them to have all the answers; I just wanted their presence. It also felt good to have someone who would pursue and follow up about things that I had shared with them in the past. -Taylor, Board Member
How can I help others who struggle?
The best thing you can do for someone who is struggling is to be present with them in their struggles and to listen with compassion. Understand that they may not be ready to receive advice or they may not take it. (Don’t be offended- it is their journey.) Ask questions to better understand how you can physically help them when they are struggling but know they might not have the answer. Speak truth in LOVE, give them scripture that points to the promises of God and tell them of the hope that you have found in Jesus. Pray for them, and ask if it is ok if you pray with them. -Cheryl, Board Member Also, recognize that support is best given as part of a team. Ask the person who is hurting if there is anyone else they trust to get involved. Be careful to recognize when you must invite others in to help, even if that requires the really hard step of breaking someone's confidence in order to truly help them. For example, if someone tells you they are going to hurt themselves or someone else, that's the time to tell a trusted adult. It's worth the risk of losing a relationship in order to get help for them. -Erin, Founder
What or who was essential to your healing journey?
Simple answer: God & Christian Counselors I waited until my 30s to seek help. Through a painful marriage experience, we sought marital counseling, and it opened my eyes to the benefits of wise counsel. A little later, I realized that I was angry all the time. I had three young children, and I didn’t want to be an angry mom. I went to individual counseling with a licensed therapists, and I completed a program called Restoring Relationships, that really helped me process all that I had been through in the past. A little later, God created circumstances, in a way that only He could, to bring me to an emotional healing group. This was the moment of breakthrough for me! This was when I began to forgive myself, and accept God’s love and forgiveness for the very first time. Now, therapy is essential to my healing journey, as well as wise mentors and friends, who support and pray for me. Reading God’s Word keeps me grounded in truth and helps me fight against depression and anxiety, as well as keeping a prayer journal to process my emotions with God. -Erin, Founder
How do you know if you are having a panic attack?
A panic attack can feel really frightening, because it often comes on suddenly and feels intense. You might experience a racing heart, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, sweating, shaking, nausea, or numbness or tingling in your hands, feet, or face. If it’s your first time experiencing a panic attack, or you have new or severe symptoms, it would be wise to speak with your doctor. The first thing I notice when I’m having a panic attack is the shortness of breath. I just… can’t breathe, and it can be really scary. After the panic attack, I notice my sweating, shaking, and numbness in my hands. A panic attack isn’t just physical. You may feel a wave of intense fear. You might feel out of control or overwhelmed. You may experience a fear that you are dying or feel detached from yourself, as if things aren’t real. It is important to remember that panic attacks aren’t actually dangerous, even though they feel that way. Your body is actually doing what it’s been designed to do–give you a surge of adrenaline, triggering your fight-or-flight response, when confronted with a dangerous situation. Your body is perceiving danger, and is responding the way it should. Instead of fighting my panic attacks, I’ve learned to appreciate them in a way, thanking my body for trying to keep me safe, but also reminding myself that there is no real danger. It also helps if I change my environment. If possible, I go outside. I remind myself, “This is a panic attack. It will pass.” Some people like for a trusted person to be near during their panic attacks, not to say anything or try to calm them down, just to be present with them. Remember… you are not weak, and you are not alone in your panic. When your body feels out of control, God is still steady. He is with you. -Erin, Founder
How do I know God is real?
This has been a journey for me. From an early age, I was taught about Jesus and the gospel. I knew what the Bible said, but for a long time I didn’t understand why I could trust it to be true. It’s okay to have questions. It’s okay to have doubts. Faith is not the absence of questions—it’s often formed through them. My encouragement is to ask your questions. Talk with your pastor or youth leader. Talk with your parents. Pray honestly and ask God to show you what you need to see in order to believe. Continue to see truth. For me, God knew I needed evidence that the Bible truly was inspired by Him. In my early adult years, He used a youth pastor to walk me through that evidence, and it changed everything. I became convinced that the one true God has revealed Himself through Scripture, and when doubts arise, I return to the truth of His Word. When I look at the world around me, belief in God makes the most sense. Scripture’s story—Creation, the Fall, Redemption, and Restoration—explains both the brokenness we see and the hope we long for. Knowing God is real requires faith, but it is not blind faith. God reveals Himself through creation, His Word, and His Son, Jesus. Check out this resource: https://www.gotquestions.org/is-God-real.html -Erin, Founder & Director
How do you work on not hating the way you look?
I started by choosing one thing about my appearance that I liked and focused on that, because Psalm 139:14 says that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”. But I think we also need to search deeper. Identify the things about your personality, interests, and character that are beautiful. God sees beauty in you beyond your physical appearance. It is easier for me to not hate the way I look because I have grown in seeing the beauty God has cultivated inside me, and I’ve grown in understanding God’s love for me. I have grown in embracing the truth that I am God’s workmanship created to do good works. Know that God has crafted you. You are His beloved. -Lydia, Board Member
How can I see a sign from God? I ask Him for a sign but never see one.
Hi friend. I wish we were sitting together over coffee to talk about this, because it’s a deep question. Many high school and college-age Christians become anxious about finding God’s will. They fear making a wrong choice and missing His path—whether about relationships, jobs, or future plans. Wanting a sign can feel like a way to gain control and walk confidently, knowing God is behind the decision. Scripture shows people receiving signs—Gideon, Moses, and Samuel anointing Saul. Yet even when God gave signs, people still doubted. Moses saw a burning bush and still asked God to send someone else! In the New Testament, we see that God doesn’t need to give signs in the same way, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to discern His will for our lives. I encourage you to read John 14:15–27, where Jesus promises the Spirit. Verse 26 says: “But the Advocate (helper), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Verse 27 continues: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you…Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid!” Trust the God who is good, merciful, and always with you.Walk in trust knowing when your heart is seeking God and desiring what He desires, you can rest knowing He is already leading you in His will. -Chery, Board Member
Is taking medication something to be ashamed of?
No—taking medication for mental health is not something to be ashamed of. Struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental-health challenges does not mean you lack faith or spiritual maturity. We live in a broken world, and our minds and bodies are affected by that brokenness just like any other part of us. As Christians, we believe God is the creator of our bodies and minds, and He often works through ordinary means to bring healing. Just as someone might take medication for diabetes, heart disease, or an infection, some people benefit from medication that helps stabilize brain chemistry so they can function and heal. Medication doesn’t replace faith—it can support the healing process alongside prayer, counseling, and spiritual growth. All of these things have been a part of my own mental health journey. Shame often comes from the false belief that we should be able to “fix” ourselves spiritually. But Scripture reminds us that God meets us in our weakness, not our perfection. Seeking help is an act of humility and wisdom, not failure. Medication is not always the right choice for everyone, and decisions about it should be made thoughtfully with a qualified medical professional (and if you are a teen, with your parents, as well). But if medication is part of your care, it does not diminish your faith or your value. God’s love for you is not dependent on how you heal—only that you are His. -Erin, Founder & Director
How do you overcome fear with God's help?
I am a very fearful person. I was told recently that the phrase “Do not fear” is repeated so often in the Bible because it is a normal human experience. God knew we would need to hear it repeated. The phrase “do not fear” is often coupled with a phrase that highlights that we have a God that draws near. He is with us. I battle with my fear by remembering that God is with me even through the hard things. I reflect on His character: He is loving, powerful, wise, good, and faithful. He is bigger than whatever I am facing. I think of Romans 8 which reminds me that God has taken care of my biggest need, my sin, through Jesus, so He will not neglect these other concerns. Romans 8 also reminds me that God is working for my good and nothing can separate me from His love. That provides me with comfort and confidence in fearful situations. Remember that fear itself is not a sin; it can be a tool to draw us closer to our Heavenly Father. In the moment, call out to Him. -Lydia, Board Member
How can you work on self-confidence?
Honestly, this has been a struggle for me, too. When I was in high school, my best friend wrote in my yearbook, “The one thing I’m sure of about you is that, no matter what you do, you will doubt your capacity at it.” Those words were painfully accurate. My insecurities often made me feel anxious, uncertain, and inferior. My confidence began to grow only when I started learning what God’s Word says about who I am. Scripture teaches that our identity is firmly rooted in Him—that He loves us consistently and completely, even when we feel we have nothing to offer. God values us, not because of what we accomplish, but because He created us and calls us His own. Everything else we could base our confidence on eventually shifts. Our abilities change, our appearance changes, and life circumstances change. But God never does. When your confidence is grounded in His character and His promises, it becomes steady and secure. A helpful practice is to memorize truths about who you are in Christ. Replace negative, self-critical thoughts with what God says about you—His workmanship, His child, His beloved. Surround yourself with people who affirm these truths and encourage you to find your worth in Him. For encouragement, read Psalm 71:5. -Erin, Founder & Director
How do you deal with the shame of messing up?
The beauty of this question is that the answer is found in the freedom of Jesus. Shame is a powerful feeling that can keep us chained to our past sin and makes it almost impossible to trust that Jesus was wounded for our transgressions (sin against God) but the Bible is clear that Jesus paid it all! Psalm 103:12 says “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” 1 John 1:7 says “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” Verse 9 continues with “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I love Hebrews 10:19-23 that says “Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” -Cheryl, Board Member
Does God love those who struggle with their sexuality?
Yes! Romans 5:8 says, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus died for sinners because He loved them while they were still sinners. Struggling with sexuality can take on many forms: lust, homosexuality, sex outside of marriage. The word 'struggle' seems to imply that a person is striving to understand their sexuality and may not like their current actions or at least is aware that the actions are not what God desires. If you are feeling convicted, rejoice that the Holy Spirit is doing a work to help rescue you from your sin. I think it is important to remember that your sexuality is not your identity. If you are a Christian, you are defined by being a child of God. Fighting sin- whether it be sexual or other- is an aspect of trusting that God has set guidelines because He knows what leads to human flourishing. He is looking out for our best. He wants to give us long-term joy. -Lydia, Board Member